I’m having an affair with a “sweetie.”

I’m 71 years old and I’m having an affair with a “sweetie.”  To be more accurate, I’m hooking up with more than one.  It probably sounds crazy, perhaps a little sick.  But I can’t help myself.  And I like them all — the tall slim ones, the fuller body types, and the color makes no difference.  Do I have an over active libido?  Perhaps.

I’ve always been attracted to the “sweeties.”  Even as a boy the temptation was strong, so strong that someone in my church told me that if I masturbated I would go blind.  Needless to say that scared the hell out of me.  Still, I began wearing glasses when I was five years old.  Go figure.  But my current urges are stronger that ever.

It all began a little over a week ago.  I found this place, club, or whatever.  I can’t be specific because I don’t think that this is legal.  Anyway, I walked in and there were several sweeties on display.  A woman asked me what I wanted.  “Well, I’m not sure.  What do you have and what is the cost?”  There were lots of choices, but let me just say that they were attractive and the price was reasonable.  I left with a tall, slim, dark one and a cup of coffee.  Years ago I might have had a cigarette.  But now I prefer a cup of coffee after and sometimes during. You might think that we went to a hotel.  No, there wasn’t a need for that.  My car worked just fine.  I moved the seat back and the two of us listened to the radio, a little conversation, and then — delicious.  Of course I have not told my wife about that experience.  In fact, I’ve been going to the establishment two or three times a week.

My story began when my wife decided to lose 10 pounds and went on a diet.  She really didn’t need to lose weight, but that was her decision.  As part of her diet, no carbs or sugar — the two things that I crave.  In case you’re interested, I’ll give you the name of the establishment where I make my purchases.  It’s called “Larry’s House of Cakes.”  (Larry’s my name but this is just a coincidence.)  Two days ago I had a chocolate long john and a cup of coffee in my car.  Yesterday I ate one candy bar and hide another one in the refrigerator in the garage.  Today I had a donut and coffee in my car.  I’ve hidden all kinds of sweets throughout our house.  This has added a new level of excitement to my life.  Even after my wife ends her diet, I’ll probably continue my trips to “Larry’s House of Cakes” and take a sweetie and a cup of coffee to my car. I know, I’m such a rascal.